Okay, let's get this straight. The Trump family, fresh off their second term of whatever that was, dove headfirst into the crypto swamp, and now they're surprised it's full of gators? Give me a break.

The Midas Touch...Or Not

So, according to reports, Trump-branded memecoins are tanking, Eric Trump's Bitcoin mining venture is getting hammered, and Trump's social media company, which apparently decided to become a Bitcoin hoarder, is circling the drain. You almost feel bad...almost. Crypto Crash Is Eroding Wealth for Trump’s Family and Followers

But let's be real: this is the Trump family we're talking about. They've made a career out of failing upwards. You know, like that time they said "Trust me" and launched Trump Steaks. Remember that? No? Exactly. So, are we really surprised they're losing money on crypto?

The real kicker is that their followers are getting burned too. These are the folks who probably thought Trump's magic touch would turn digital dust into gold. It's like they never learned anything from Trump University.

Bitcoin's Wild Ride: A Sign of the Times?

Meanwhile, the broader crypto market is also looking shaky. Bitcoin's on its longest losing streak since 2024, and analysts are throwing around phrases like "bull trap" and "sticky inflation." Sounds fun, right? Bitcoin Logs Longest Losing Streak Since 2024 as Fed Repricing Fuels Cautious Rebound

One analyst, Sean Dawson, expects "a rough ride into Christmas." Merry Christmas, crypto bros!

But wait, there's a glimmer of hope, maybe? Apparently, some on-chain metric is showing increased dip-buying activity. So, some folks are still throwing good money after bad. Or maybe they know something we don't.

And get this, the odds of a December rate cut by the Federal Reserve have jumped. So, maybe, just maybe, the Fed will swoop in and save the day... or at least prop up the market for a little while longer. But let's not pretend that's a real solution. It's just kicking the can down the road.

Options traders are hedging for even more downside, loading up on puts in the $85,000 to $80,000 range.

Here's the thing: the crypto market is basically a casino with extra steps. It's driven by hype, speculation, and the occasional Elon Musk tweet. It's not a serious investment, and anyone who treats it like one is asking for trouble.

I mean, seriously, what's the underlying value of a memecoin? It's a joke! A digital Beanie Baby! And yet, people are pouring their life savings into this stuff. It's insane.

Almost $1 billion in liquidations in one hour as Bitcoin plunged below $82K. Talk about a bad Friday.

The Future of Crypto: A Crystal Ball or a Magic 8-Ball?

So, what's next for Bitcoin? Some analysts are predicting a recovery to $100,000 by early 2026, while others are bracing for a further drop. It's all just guesswork, offcourse.

Dawson thinks Bitcoin could slip into the mid to high $70,000 range before recovering to around $90,000 by year's end, if the Fed doesn't get too hawkish. Big "if" there.

The Fed's policy decisions in December could be a make-or-break moment for Bitcoin. But let's be honest, even if Bitcoin does recover, it's still going to be a volatile ride.

And as for the Trumps? Well, they'll probably find some other way to grift their followers. Maybe they'll launch Trump NFTs or Trump-branded bottled water. The possibilities are endless.

So, What Did We Expect?

Honestly, did anyone really think the Trumps' crypto gamble was going to end well? It's a classic case of hubris and greed colliding with the unpredictable nature of the market. They thought they could ride the crypto wave to riches, but instead, they got wiped out. And their followers got dragged down with them.

It's not karma, exactly. It's just plain bad investing... and a healthy dose of delusion.